A cat named Darkness

This is my cat Darkness.

Perhaps instead I am his human.

He cased our place a few weeks before he moved in. He is still the only all black cat in the area, and of quite a size, so he stands out in the troupe that meander through the yard in the mornings and evenings. I saw him twice out among others, spoke to him across the yard and watched his great emerald eyes bore into mine. When I moved toward him, he stalked off purposefully and did not scamper in fear. He disappeared for a couple weeks. I asked my husband if he had seen him, and we wondered about him one evening.

The next morning, I opened the back door to let my dog Wally out and ten feet away sat a very large black cat, with piercing green eyes and fangs that stuck out under his lip.

I said, “Hello, how are you?” To which he sneezed forcefully twice.

“Are we feeling alright then?” I asked politely.

He stalked right past me into the house and proceeded to sit and eat from the cat bowl.

“Do I know you?” I asked.

He cronched kibble.

I considered. Do I pick up and scold this strange cat to evict him, or do I like my skin on my arms this morning? Or maybe a broom to shoo him back out?

“Alright then, you eat, I’ll be right back. ” I decided, joining Wally outside for a moment.

When I opened the door, it was like he had vanished, or perhaps never existed, since I looked all throughout the house and didn’t see him. Until, I decided to give up and go crawl back under the covers.

He was curled up asleep at the foot of my bed.

Again, what? Do I now confront this beast in my bed? He looked as though he’d grown even larger when laid out.

Wally sniffed at the edge of the bed and wisely decided to crawl in his own puptent on the floor.

“Traitor,” I whispered to him, as I crawled into bed, splitting my feet up so the monster lay between.

When I awoke again, he was there, so I leaned forward, talked softly and pet him. He nuzzled into it, but his tail began to lash pretty quickly, so I brought my arms back out of reach. I reminded him it’s impolite to sleep with someone you never met, and told him if he didn’t eat my legs through the covers he was welcome to share some other time. He followed me into the kitchen like an animated shadow. He ate occasionally and slept on my bed all day, a slightly ominous presence until sunset when he politely asked to go out by waiting silently by the door.

I saw him outside that night in the yard, or rather, I saw his eyes hovering as his form melted into the ether.

“He IS the Darkness..” I said, and he materialized into a patch of light, sat and gave me a long slow blink.

“Hello Darkness, my old friend… it’s nice to speak with you again..” I sang, off key.

Long blink. Then he walked straight up to me, I kneeled down, and he head butted me as I pet him.

“Alright Darkness, don’t eat me okay?”

That was when he began to talk.

And TALK and talk and talk, in Mawrs and murrs and moos and meeps, until we had a long conversation about inside manners and to not eat my dog or Michaels cat. At the end he was humming some cat oaths, impatiently waiting by the door to go back in.

And, well, I let him.

He began playing with me very rough after he got over his sneezes, which at first I was exceptionally alarmed by (the rough play). He is a VERY large cat, apparently fixed since he never has a care for any ladies or other Toms, and doesn’t spray. He takes care to not break my skin, although he knows the exact threshold to the absolute millimeter. After a few wrestling matches between my hand and his face, which HE initiates by tapping on my side, I have realized he is just a rough-love cat. He is impeccably polite with food, litter rules and table laws. He avoids our other cat, Wizard, though they made a tense truce after several stares at each other, and doesn’t pick on Wally except to swat near him when Wally walks under Darkness’ chair perch.

He’s a cat that gets the zoomies, ‘meep’ing and tearing across the whole yard or through the house as though possessed for ten minutes a day, hiding and pouncing and streaking about. We have been fostering some stray kittens, and he has decided they are great fun to chase. He is obsessed with boxes and adores tearing up brown paper bags for the sound effects. He Demands Tempations treats by fetching a human from other rooms and leading us into the kitchen, then tugging with full threatening claws on the cupboard where we keep the treats. At first I made him touch his nose to my face for a kiss before giving; them he began placing his open jaws around my nose while lashing his tail and so I don’t do that anymore, just pay his extortion fee. He seems to really like being yelled at, as though his first owners only expressed love at great volume. Perhaps they were deaf? He is gentle as a lamb with other people and kittens, even with Michael, although he screams bloody murder if the other cats even look at him funny, but he sure does have a rough spot for me, with head butts and slight bites and claws wrapped about my ankle every so often. From what I can tell, it’s not even a dominance thing, just his manner of showing affection. It’s by far the strangest cat relationship I’ve ever been in. Especially considering he chose me and appeared out of nowhere.

He puzzles me quite a lot when it comes to my theory about pets being emotional manifestations. I quickly named him Darkness, which to me points to him being some form of my Shadow side…

I’ve never had a cat that wasn’t interested in cuddles or pets or even humans for that matter. He’s a very strange beastie/roommate. He’s the only one who will perch on my car, leaving prints of darkness all over the hood and roof. He had a strange sickness one time that I feared was going to take him, were he breathed so rapidly for three days straight and wore himself out. We placed him in a kennel with my husbands quantum devices, gave him a minuscule dose of penicillin, spoke some heady spells over him and kept him quiet overnight. The next two days he slept in the kennel of his own decision, then meandered out begging for food and treats, right as could be . We still haven’t a clue what any of it was about. He’s a large, fierce cat. He never cuddles or snuggles, Just lives as our creepy half invisible roommate. I could write more effusively about him if he was any more interesting, but, there you are. Darkness. Drama king extraordinaire.

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